Humour · Writing Motivation

What I used to Think and What I used to Say: A freshers diary

The other day when I found, average human brain tides around 50,000 thoughts in a day, I took a deep relief that I am not the only one. Homo sapiens were born with these traits and perhaps the numbers of thoughts might be less or more to few personalities, but what the big deal if 50,000 gets 40,000. That is still a huge number to manage. And if I divide my thoughts, in proportion to my action, the results goes to zero.

What I used to think and what I used to say:

On seeing a girl

What I used to think—wow! She just ignored the manager, just like I do. She also eats apples, just like I do, she is workaholic, just like I do. Maybe she is interested in me or influenced by me. I should talk to her. What’s wrong in friendship, just friends?

No, it’s just creation of your mind you jerk, she is already engaged, haven’t you seen her talking flawlessly with someone. Nobody talks with their parents in such manner. She must have a boyfriend. Just wait for the right moment to pull the trigger, whoo ya.

What I say– when she starts a conversation, saying if  I have a pen? I said with a blank face, No, I don’t have. She never asked again. (I was thinking–what the heck, you have pen in your pocket, you jerk)

On Job interviews-

What I think– This is going to my final attempt, I am going to crack this interview anyway, I will appear to be confident, I will negotiate the salary. Let’s speak your mind flawlessly. Let’s mark a good impression on the interviewer. Woo, yaa.

What I do— Interviewer, why you are here? I said, “For interview”

Interviewer- No, why here?

I said -because you have an opening (thinking what the fuck I said, don’t try to be witty, you drank yard)

Interviewee- I mean what brings you here?

I said, “I always wanted to work for your company that brings me here, I heard about learning, training, and package.

Interviewee- how much you expect?

I said, “I am not money minded sir, give me what I deserve” (thinking– I just said a shit, now he will offer peanuts)

On confrontation with a boss

What I think– Now I am not going to suffer, nobody will take credit of my hard work, nobody means nobody, not even my boss. I do my work with full honesty and punctuality; no one has rights to do injustice with me. I am going to nail that bastard when he will flatter at the meeting. Let’s people see my true face. whoo, yea.

What I say

Boss- I have assigned you a list of projects, what the status?

I, “sir, it’s done.

Boss-who assisted you?

I said- she did sir. “a female colleague”

Boss- well done, the last slide was best. who compiled the data.

I said- She did.

Boss- so what have you done?

I said: Nothing sir. ( What the fuck you just murmured)

Woo-yea…

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2 thoughts on “What I used to Think and What I used to Say: A freshers diary

  1. Well done, and carry on your story… I also enjoyed your story understand a little bit.. And I hope your unforgettable story launch coming soon…… I will waiting public your own books…. My good wishes with you……

    Like

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